Prayer for the Divorced
God, Master of union and disunion,
Teach me how I may now walk
Alone and strong.
Heal my wounds;
Let the scar tissue of thy bounty
Cover these hurts and bruises
That I may again be a single person
Adjusted to new days.
Grant me a heart of wisdom,
Cleanse me of hostility, revenge and rancor.
Make me know the laughter, which is not giddy,
The affection, which is not frightened.
Keep far from me thoughts of evil; and despair.
May I realize that the past chapter of my life has changed.
The expected story end will not come.
Shall I mourn the turn of the plot?
Rather, remembering without anger’s thrust,
Recalling without repetitive pain of regret,
Teach me again to write and read
That I may convert this unexpected epilogue
Into a new practice and a new poem.
Muddled gloom over,
Tension days passed,
Let bitterness of thought fade,
Harshness of memory attenuate.
Make me move on in love and kindness.
Amen.
Reprinted from Divorce and Beyond, 2005
Deacon,
What is the ruling on a divorced person taking communion?
Divorce is never part of your plan for life. When you married, you intended it to last a lifetime. It is a time of grief and great pain for the loss of the dream you had for your life. There is much misunderstanding about divorce among Catholics. I hope the following questions and their answers will assist you.
What is the Status of a Divorced Catholic in the Church?
Those who divorce are still considered members of the church in good standing. Divorced persons (as long as they have not remarried) can still receive the Eucharist and the other sacraments. Moreover, Pope John Paul II in his encyclical on the Christian Family in the Modern World, (n.83) urged all faithful to help those who have divorced so that they do not consider themselves separated in any way from the Christian community.
What is the Status of a Divorced Catholic who marries outside the Church?
A divorced Catholic who marries outside the church is still considered a member of the Catholic Church; there is no excommunication for such an action. However, Church practice has been that a Catholic who marries outside the church may not receive the sacraments of Eucharist and Reconciliation. This is for two reasons: first according to Church law, Catholics must marry before a priest and two witnesses in order for the marriage to be recognized by the Catholic Church. Second, but more importantly, the Church teaches that marriage is a sign of the unbreakable bond of love between Christ and His Church. By establishing a new union, the person is no longer giving witness to that unbreakable bond of love. Therefore, objectively they are living in a way that contradicts the Church’s teaching about the sacramentality of marriage.
How does a person Re-Marry in the Catholic Church?
There are two principal ways that a person may Re-Marry in the Catholic Church: if the previous marriage is dissolved, or if it is declared null from the beginning.
What does it mean to Dissolve a Marriage?
Marriages in which at least one of the parties was un-baptized during the entire course of the marriage can be dissolved. While the marriages of the unbaptized are considered valid marriages by the Catholic Church (since both parties gave their consent to be married) the marriages are also considered to be non-sacramental, since both parties must be baptized Christians in order for the marriage to be considered a sacrament.
What is a declaration of Nullity? (Annulment)
A declaration of nullity (which is the more precise name for what most people call an “annulment”) means that something essential to the marriage was lacking at the time the parties exchanged consent. Thus, while the parties believed they were giving valid consent to their marriage, something was missing which prevented a true marriage bond from being formed.
How does a person apply for a declaration of Nullity?
In the Archdiocese of Chicago, the process begins at the parish level. Here at St. Rene, Father Tom, my wife Beth and I have received training to be able to assist you in filling out your application. Your application would then be sent to a Field Advocate. Field Advocates are specially trained and appointed lay persons, deacons, and priests throughout the Archdiocese who assist petitioners in presenting a case to the Tribunal. The Field Advocate conducts a personal interview with the petitioner, helps in the preparation of the petitioner's formal petition and insures that the forms and other data are complete.
If a declaration of Nullity is given, are both Parties free to Marry?
Yes. However, the Tribunal often recommends or requires counseling before a subsequent marriage, to ensure that the problems experienced in the previous marriage do not carry over into a new union.
*Excerpts taken from the Office of Family Ministries of the Archdiocese of Chicago. For more information contact the Offices of Family Ministries at 312 524-8351 or through e-mail: familyministries@archchicago.org.
